Simple Blog- Libby Deege

I attended a funeral yesterday of a beloved Caregiver for Home Instead Senior Care. After hearing all she had done with her life and all the people she had touched through her 80 years, I found this picture and thought she did all these things and was so happy every day!!

Mediation: Resolving Elder Care Conflicts Without a Battle - Libby Deege

Jerrod and Morgan Williams have been at odds for several years about their mother's care. Now a decision must be made and they are no closer to agreement. Gregory Jakes' children and his doctors all agree that he must stop driving. Even though his son has twice disabled the car, Gregory has twice had it repaired and continues to drive. Both of these families were referred to mediation as a last resort before turning to the courts to resolve their conflicts.

Elder care can be difficult under the best of circumstances. Mix in old family history and sincere differences of opinion and things can easily become unmanageable. As an older woman once said to me, "This would all be so easy if it weren't for the people!"

As an alternative to either throwing up their hands and walking away or ending up in court, many families are turning to Elder Mediation as a way to find a workable resolution.

A mediator is a professional who will help families open up communication in order to find the best solution to their particular situation. The mediator is neutral - not aligned with any particular "side" - and is part of the process only as a facilitator of the discussion. The goal is to give everyone a voluntary and confidential place to be heard, to share their concerns, and to explore options.

At the end of the process all the participants sign a document summarizing their aggreement. This document is not legally binding, as it would be if issued by a court of law. Family members are always free to seek legal advice before agreeing to any compromises.

Some families say that meeting with a mediator greatly reduced their stress and helped them accomplish far more than they had hoped. Others, while not able to resolve all their differences, were able to reach interim agreements and identify milestones that would indicate the need to revisit their options.

Elder mediators can assist families with resolving differences over caregiving responsibilities, residential alternatives, financial arrangements, guardianship decisions, individual roles and responsibilities in decision-making, and end of life decisions.

Mediators will not make decisions for the family, nor are they therapists. However, many families have found that meeting with a mediator can be therapeutic because the process helps diffuse tensions while allowing everyone to express themselves honestly and focus on the ultimate best interest of their senior.

How to Find a Mediator

Like Geriatric Care Management, there are no licenses required to be a mediator. However, there are ways to find experienced mediators who are highly regarded by professionals:

Check with your local family or probate court. They often maintain a list of mediators.

Bank Account of Memories

Bank Account of Memories


The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud mother-in-law of my best friend, who is

fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coiffed and

makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home

today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

Maurine Jones is the most lovely, gracious, dignified woman that I have ever had the

pleasure of meeting. While I have never aspired to attain her depth of wisdom, I do

pray that I will learn from her vast experience.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled

sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator,

I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had

been hung on her window. "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-yearold

having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room ... just wait."

That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied. "Happiness is something you

decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the

furniture is arranged ... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it...

"It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the

day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work,

or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as

my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away ...

just for this time in my life.

Old age is like a bank account ... you withdraw from it what you've put in ...So, my

advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories."

Helping Seniors beat the Heat - Libby Deege

Older citizens are more vulnerable than younger individuals because they do not adjust as well to the heat, they perspire less, and they are more likely to have health problems that require medicines that work against the body's natural thermometer. A sudden or prolonged increase in temperatures can place a strain on the heart and blood vessels before the body can acclimate itself
When the temperatures begin to creep up, take immediate action. The following tips from Dr. Robert Luchi, Professor of Medicine-Geriatrics, can help you beat the heat:

Keep cool. Air conditioning can be a lifesaver, especially if you have heart disease. If you don't have air conditioning, head to a cool shopping center, senior center, library, movie theater, or place of worship.

Cool baths or showers can provide relief. Ice bags and wet towels are also helpful.
Beware of dehydration; drink plenty of water even if you are not thirsty.

Curtail physical activity during extremely hot weather. Activity adds to heart strain.

 Avoid heavy meals and alcohol. Alcohol acts as a diuretic, causing your body to lose water.

 Limit salt use.

 Wear loose fitting, lightweight clothing. Don't forget to wear a hat or carry an umbrella to protect your head and neck when you are outdoors.

 Take the heat seriously. Dizziness, rapid heartbeat, diarrhea, nausea, headache, chest pain, mental changes or breathing problems are warning signs that you should seek immediate medical attention

CAREGiver of the Month Shares her favorite caregiving story...

Angie Sieren has been selected for the CAREGiver of the month for the month of June. Angie was chosen because she has been doing an excellent job picking up fill-ins and going above and beyond for her clients. She has a genuine heart that desires to get to know her clients well, which results in trust and friendship.


"When I first met Willie, he was very protective of his home and the responsibilities he wanted me to take care of. PROUD would be the word to best describe this man of a 5 foot stature. But when I met him it seemed as if he were more like 6 foot tall. He would shuffle behind me pushing his walker everywhere I went while I was doing the chores he had asked of me, making sure I was doing it the RIGHT way....as in HIS WAY. Keep in mind he lived in a tiny little one bedroom trailer. As time went on, Willie began to share more about himself, his time in World War II, and memories of his beloved wife. In turn, he also began to ask more about my life and me. As the days grew into weeks and the weeks turned into months, Willie and I chatted like we were old time friends. He began making me breakfast every morning and this was a huge feat for him as he was partially blind in both eyes. So the task was a major undertaking, but one he was so very proud of. My most fond memory of my time with Willie was when we spent an hour going through old albums. The ones he and his wife would listen and dance to for hours. I will never forget the day he played his favorite on his old record player. We were sitting at his kitchen table. I was listening and laughing to so many of his old stories. He got up from the kitchen table and shuffled into his living room. He was smiling and laughing. He then turned and asked if I would join him on the dance floor. It was a fast one so I wasn't sure if I could keep up. But he waved one hand in the air while holding tightly onto his walker with the other. I popped out of my chair and waved my hands wildly in the air just trying to keep up. When the song was over. I hugged him and thanked him not only for the dance but sharing so many specials memories of his with me. I told him how honored I was that he shared such special memories with me. Our relationship as client and caregiver developed into one of being friends. From that day on Willie no longer shuffled after me to make sure I was doing what I needed to do. He now would sit at the kitchen table and chat w me as I moved about his house cleaning and doing laundry. Always wanting me to take a break and sit to chat or to drink a soda of his or eat a snickers candy bar that he had purchased because he knew that they were
my favorite. I had done it. I had earned this man's trust and was able to bring many smiles and laughter into a house that once was so very quiet and lonely. I will always remember how nervous I was my very first shift. But now all I can remember is how fortunate I was to be a part of Willie's life....to have been trusted....to have been loved by such an amazing human being. I am grateful to HISC for the experiences I have been given. My words of widsom to others would be: Remember you are ALWAYS a guest in your clients home. That what our clients are asking of us to come and do is scary for them.....it's also very brave...and so very humbling. That each senior is unique and special so go out of your way each and every shift to make your client feel that way. Be compassionate and kind. I have been blessed with the relationships I have developed in the last 4 and 1/2 years."

Angie found Home Instead Senior Care through a search on the internet. She was a stay-at-home mom for 10 years and decided it was time to do something for her. She wanted a part-time job that would offer her flexible hours. Working with seniors appealed to her because while she was growing up she would volunteer at a nursing home with her mom. Angie says, “It was time to do something for me.” What she didn’t expect was how much she received in return, from her clients. CAREGiving has been an excellent match for her because it has allowed her to maintain flexibility to continue to raise and be active in her children’s lives.


Working with and helping people have always been an active part of Angie’s life. Prior to CAREGiving Angie worked with children with special needs, she was a substance abuse counselor for teens and their parents, and as stated earlier she would volunteer with her mom at the nursing home. When she went into the nursing home she would read to the residents, bring them kittens to pet/play with, and sometimes her mom made her ride the horse to the nursing home so the residents could feed them apples and carrots. It was all of this that molded Angie into the successful CAREGiver she is today.

She grew up in Keota, Iowa (south eastern part of the state). She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology and sociology from Simpson college. Angie married her high school sweetheart in 1993, they now have 2 daughters who are 14 and 12. Kurt, Angie’s husband was relocated, for his job, to Minnesota but they relocated back 5 years ago and they currently live in Johnston. Here their girls are very active in school/sports. This keeps Kurt and Angie busy, but they love watching their girls grow and do what they love. When Angie isn’t busy at one of her girls’ sporting events she enjoys being outside, boating, grilling, shopping, reading, and just spending some down time as a family.

Pet Estate Planning - Libby Deege

Great Article!! Enjoy!

You don't have to be Leona Helmsley to want the best for your pet after you die. She'd left her dog Trouble $12 million when she passed away in 2007. A judge cut the award to $2 million and awarded some of the money to her grandchildren, but the Maltese still lived a life of luxury until his death in December. The dog's passing was just announced this month by the Helmsley trust.

Pet estate planning has grown since Helmsley's will made headlines. Today there are retirement homes for pets all across the country, and at least 45 states allow for pet trusts. A pet trust is an agreement that specifies how an owner wants a pet to be cared for, including details on who will be responsible for the animal and how the care will be paid for.

There are also attorneys who specialize in pet trusts, along with how-to books like "Who Will Care When You're Not There?" by tax attorneys Robert E. Kass and Elizabeth A. Carrie, "Fat Cats and Lucky Dogs" by law professor Gerry W. Beyer and estate planner Barry Seltzer, and "Petriarch: The Complete Guide to Financial and Legal Planning for a Pet's Continued Care" by animal attorney Rachel Hirschfeld.

Hirschfeld wrote a pet protection agreement that is legally binding and can be found online for as little as $39. Companies like Trusted Pet Partners, founded by attorney Chris Jones of Santa Barbara, offer a simple online pet trust for $289. Other online resources include a free planning guide from the Humane Society of the United States called "Providing for Your Pet's Future Without You" at http://www.humanesociety.org/petsinwills.

Exactly how many pets are abandoned after their owners die is unknown, says Richard Avanzino, former president of the San Francisco Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, but his best guess is 2 percent of surrendered animals, or 150,000 dogs and cats a year. A study from the late 1990s published in the Journal of Applied Animal Welfare Science found 1 percent of dogs and 1.5 percent of cats coming into 12 animal shelters had been surrendered because of owner death.

In 1979, Avanzino went to court to prevent the euthanization of a dog whose owner, Mary Murphy, had committed suicide. Murphy left a will instructing that her 11-year-old dog Sido be euthanized.

"She didn't think anybody else could take care of her in the same pampered, loving way," said Avanzino.
A judge ruled disposal of personal property does not extend to killing a living creature.

"People from the grave cannot dictate the demise of their beloved pets just because they are not around to take care of them," Avanzino said.

Murphy's case prompted the San Francisco SPCA to set up one of the nation's first sanctuaries for pets who outlive their owners.
A few veterinary schools offer estate planning options like lifetime care for pets and placement in a home. The Stevenson Companion Animal Life-Care Center, established by the Texas A&M College of Veterinary Medicine, offers a place for pets to live in addition to veterinary care. The Stevenson Center in College Station, Texas, currently houses 20 cats, 15 dogs and a llama, said Ellie Greenbaum, assistant to the director. They also have 377 animals from 20 states registered as potential residents. The fee for lifetime care is between $50,000 and $100,000 per pet, with any leftover funds donated to the center or the college.

But lifetime pet care arrangements don't always cost that much. Blue Bell Foundation For Cats in Laguna Beach, Calif., charges $6,500 for lifetime care for cats. The organization was founded by Bertha Gray Yergat, who wanted to ensure care after her death for the 200 cats she'd rescued. Yergat left about $1 million in assets, said Susan Hamil, chairwoman (and original member) of the foundation's board of directors. The organization now houses 50 cats.

One big problem is making sure trusts are written so that the pets and funds can be turned over quickly to the designated caregiver or facility. "The need when you pass away is immediate," Hamil said.
 
Most people will choose a friend or relative to take their pets.
 
"Much like an adoption, the goal is to make sure it will be a good match," said Kim Saunders, vice president of shelter outreach for Petfinder.com, an online pet adoption database. "You may love your best friend or family member, but they may not be a dog person." So some people designate an agency to find a new home for the pet.

Some owners leave money to whomever they're entrusting their pet to as a way of making sure the animal does not become a financial burden. Unfortunately, sometimes when large sums are involved, Avanzino said, "greed gets in the way."

In one case, Avanzino said, a cat was to be cared for by a maid and butler who were to get free room and board as long as the cat was alive. "The first time we saw the cat, we estimated it was 8 years old. Four years later, the cat was about 4 and the next time, the cat they brought in and said was the same cat, was estimated to be about 1 year old," he said.

In another case, the owner of a German shepherd left relatives the use of an entire estate as long as the dog lived. "They kept it alive almost two years on life support. The dog was totally incapable of moving," Avanzino said.

USA Today: Most Baby Boomers lack a plan to care for parents

A majority of Baby Boomers say they are likely to become caregivers for their parents, but only half can name any medications their parents take, a new survey shows

The survey of 600 adults ages 45 to 65, conducted for the Home Instead Senior Care network, also found:
•31% don't know how many medications their parents take.
•34% don't know whether their parents have a safe deposit box or where the key is.
•36% don't know where their parents' financial information is located.

"The majority of caregivers we work with have done no advance planning,'' says Jeff Huber, president of Home Instead Senior Care, a company that provides non-medical care services. "It is not important until it's urgent. So much stress and uncertainty down the road can be prevented."

Lack of planning can lead to serious complications when decisions need to be made quickly, says palliative care nurse practitioner Mimi Mahon, an associate professor at George Mason University in Virginia. "It's vitally important to plan ahead and have these conversations with parents, or families can act out of fear and make mistakes when emergencies arise."

Prescription drugs are of particular concern. In the survey, 49% couldn't name a single drug their parents took. Ask parents about their medications and, if necessary, do research, experts say. Find out the dose, what it's for, who prescribed it and why. People 65 and older account for about a third of all medications prescribed in the U.S., according to the National Institutes of Health, and older patients are more likely to have long-term and multiple prescriptions, which could lead to unintentional misuse.

"It's kind of a never-ending process for caregivers," says Sandy Markwood, head of the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging, part of the Department of Health and Human Services. "It gets further complicated when there is more than the family practitioner. A parent might have several specialists. It's a lot for a caretaker to keep up."

Markwood says the Administration on Aging, also under HHS, has been encouraging better record-keeping by seniors and stronger communication between seniors and caretakers since Hurricane Katrina. "Then you had a situation when seniors were evacuated without their medications and no one knew what medications they were on," Markwood says. "Doctors had to start from scratch."

One must-have answer for caretakers: What drugs can parents go without and which ones must be taken on schedule. For instance, blood pressure and anti-depressant medications cannot be missed, Mahon says.

The bottom line, she says, is being a staunch advocate for your parents' health care starts with "having conversations and putting plans in place."